No More Heroes micro review
Yesterday I sat down to play a game I've always been intrigued by, yet avoided at all costs. It's called No More Heroes, and I've dodged it thus far because it was previously a Wii exclusive (And Nintendo is Satan).
No More Heroes: Heroes' Paradise is a PS3 Move version of the original games. All credit to them, this was no lazy port - the game has been given a HD revamp and there's no doubt at all that it looks very slick, very stylish, and very cinematic. Unfortunately, this game is a poster child for style over substance, and the controls are unbearably wooden, so even though Travis looks cool swinging his giant shiny rod around onscreen, it feels like you're bashing a cotton bud against a redwood.
I could probably have forgiven the repetitive, finisher-heavy combat if it was some sort of weird minigame, and it's probably better if you play it with the Move (I personally refuse to bow to the motion control cash in). The driving, however? That sucks balls. It was like playing the first Driver game with a broken controller... and severe autism. His heavy, future-retro bike turns corners like Tron without the early Sci-Fi quirkyness, and I found it totally unplayable.
So, in short - everything is wooden. The jokes are funny at first but there's only so many times you can rehash an "I want to have lots of sex with you" innuendo. Thugs scream "My spleen!" almost every time you kill them and that really, really starts to drag. There are plenty of cool little things to do - like part time jobs, exploring all the little bits of Travis' apartment, but the main game itself fails to do enough to hold them up.
It gets a 6/10 in my opinion, but it may just be quirky/dirty enough to stand up for some people.
-L
